Diary of Dan

Monday, March 28, 2005

PRASHANTI MEMORIES

atmarama anandaramana
achyuta keshava harinarayana
bhavabhaya-harana vandita-charana
raghukula-bhushana rajeevlochana
atmarama anandaramana
achyuta keshava harinarayana

adinarayana anantashayana
satchidananda shrisatyanarayana
bhavabhayaharana vanditacharana
raghukulbhushana rajeevlochana
atmarama anandaramana
achyuta keshava harinarayana

Sunday, March 20, 2005

MY MOTHER'S A MOTHER OF A CRICKET TEAM!

Me and my 10 siblings:

1. Danny baby
2. Dobby Dobsky, the duck
3. Arthur, the bear
4. Dumbo Jumbo, the frog
5. Leo, the dog
6. Mishoo, the cat
7. Shibu, the mouse
8. Miss Piggy Pinks, the pig
9. Champak, a comic strip character
10. The nameless tortoise
11. The nameless monkey

Mother, we love you!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CN

My lyrical offerings to the great subject called Communication networks:

T skit and ta skit,
A pocket full of sockets,
ARPANET, Ping and TELNET,
Put them in my packet! (1)

Don't frame 'em, don't frame 'em,
TCP and IP,
OSI and CSMA,
Put 'em in my packet! (2)

Gateways and bridges,
Lemme close the switches,
Open the sliding window
and put it in my packet! (3)

LEOs and MEOs,
I wanna own a GEO,
Please don't let PPP SLIP,
don't put it in my packet! (4)

Stop the bloody busy tone,
Let's connect with a backbone,
ARQ, where is the queue,
just put it in my packet! (5)

Dijkstra, Dijkstra,
RSA et cetera,
If you have a dead receiver,
Put it in my packet! (6)

ALOHA! ALOHA!
I wanna board the first 'bus',
I wanna wear a 'ring' to college,
It's kept in my packet! (7)

LAN, WAN, where is my MAN?
Hey you there! Don't 'mesh' him up,
You have neither ACK nor NAK,
Don't put him in your packet! (8)

T skit and ta skit,
A pocket full of sockets,
A little girlie studied CN,
And put it in her poem! (9)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

J, D, S

J is rich in months:
January
June
July

D is rich in flowers:
Dahlia
Daisy
Daffodil
Dandelion
Daphne
Delphinium

S is rich in elements:
Sulphur
Silicon
Silver
Selenium
Strontium

And when you bring J, D, and S together, what do you get? - J. D. SALINGER!!!

Monday, March 14, 2005

COLLEGE IS FUN!

Life right now is hardly exciting, yet college life can be fun, however boring attending lectures gets! That's simply because you get to meet your friends, and your professors! :) And you get to roam the corridors (knowledge ones, at that!), you get to go to the canteen and eat tempting, fattening pav bhaji or drowned-in-imli-bhel, you get to type java programs and their outputs (!!!) that you dump after 5 minutes, you get to listen to stories of Cassegrain feeds day in and day out, you get nice Tshirts to wear, and of course there's some "day" or the other, and you get to pose for scores of pics!

And as far as practicals are concerned, SOCKET programs (whatever they are!) take a long time to come out of the professor's POCKET! :D

And regarding final year projects, if you have any kind of microcontroller problem, you just dix it! You never worry, you just let dix it fix it! :D

And then when you go home, you make discoveries like:
Love isn't restricted by bandwidth!
Ribbons are lovely, especially red and green ones!
Bhabhis are "in", even a duck asks for one!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

Saturday, March 12, 2005

INCURABLY YOURS...

While my brain was debating whether to post this on The Other Side Of Dan, or here, my fingers on the mouse already took the decision... Dear Readers, let me assure you this story is 99% fiction........ : )

Vandi was going to shut down her PC when suddenly her eyes took in the recycle bin icon - it showed the recycle bin wasn't empty. The recycle bin wasn't empty! Oh no! She couldn't bear not having an empty recycle bin. That meant another 2 minutes, before she could shut down, and switch off the system. She tried to finish it quickly, and got up to change. She had just 10 more minutes, after which she had to be on the road hailing a rick, and if she was lucky, she would be in one soon, heading towards Vasu's flat.

But before she reached, she had to get dressed! She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror - oh no, there it was again - the tiny black spot on her cheek. The pen mark she was always getting nowadays, ever since she got into this habit of thinking with her pen in her hand and resting her cheek against it. She tried washing it off with water, but another minute and she knew, it wouldn't go off. She had to apply soap. Only then would it leave her pretty face umblemished. Experience told her, don't apply soap! Just 8 more minutes - she couldn't wash off the soap AND get dressed in 8 minutes! Vasu had always tried to make her understand that soap goes off with water, it doesn't stick to your face. But she found it so hard to believe that! And she knew Vasu would be waiting, waiting for her to come, and hoping against hope - that she wouldn't get late just because of some stupid soap! At least not today!

She stopped herself just in time! She didn't let her hand reach the bar of soap. She decided it would be better to have the black spot adorning her face rather than going late. She dried her face and opened her wardrobe. Good, she had already decided what to wear - the black salwar kameez he'd gifted her last month when he'd come back from Kulu. She took it out and wore the salwar. Hmm, it was stitched just right. Unbelievable, because it was one of her innumerable firm beliefs, that tailors didn't know how to stitch. And now the kameez. Hey, what was that sudden glitter! Oh shit - that was Nina's chamki!!! Damn that girl! Her little sister had this strange habit of decorating all her books and notebooks with chamki, and storing that goddamn bottle in Vandi's wardrobe. And sometimes she wouldn't close the bottle properly and chamki would spill out, and god only knows how, it would come to rest on some of her dresses. This had happened at least 5 times before, and Vandi had threatened to kill Nina the next time it happened. But now, Nina was conveniently away, and wasn't coming home for 4 more days. She found that "trouble bottle" and angrily placed it on the dressing table, to be thrown away later.

Vandi knew she didn't have the time, she had to hurry. A little bit of chamki on one of the sleeves was not going to matter, not at all to Vasudeo. But, BUT: it mattered to her. It mattered to her! She simply couldn't bear to spoil her dress, her favourite black salwar suit, given to her by Vasu dearest, with chamki... detestable Nina's detestable chamki! Her hand reached out for the brush on her dressing table, kept there for similar occassions, and began brushing the kameez.

She kept doing it. It was only when her phone rang that she realised how much her hand hurt. She picked up the phone with her left hand.

"Hello, Vandana here"
"What's the matter Vandi?!!! How come you are still at home?"
"Vasu.... you can't imagine what's happened.... The black suit-"
"Of course I can't imagine what's happened. And don't bother telling me!!!"
"it's covered with chamki........."
"VANDI! Spare me your excuses! You'd promised not to be late. At least not today!"
"Hey Vasu, don't worry........ The last time this chamki thing happened, I discovered this perfect technique of holding the brush. I'll get it off in minutes!"
"You'll need ages to believe you've got rid of it! Why didn't you just wear some other dress and come?"
"Vasu I can't!!!"
"WHY?"
"Because I'd decided I would wear this one. It's not my fault Nina sprinkled chamki on it-"
"Vandi, neither is it my fault! How long will you keep me waiting!??? It's been an hour already! The doctor's appointment was at 6! It's 6.30 now, and even if you leave now, you'll reach here at 7 and we'll reach the clinic at 7.30! And the clinic closes at 6.45! Are you doing this deliberately? Have you decided not to meet this psychiatrist? THIS IS THE 4TH TIME WE'LL BE MISSING THE APPOINTMENT!!!!!!"
"Vasu, please believe me-"
"The first time you had a black spot on your cheek that you claimed wouldn't go off, the second time it was some spider, the third time it was the potted plants. Thank god you didn't fracture your toe that time! Now six months later, it's something silly like chamki on your dress!"
"Vasu b-"
"Vandi, you are ill! You have to talk to this doctor! Look, I want to take care of you, I don't want your life to be wasted because of these obsessions of yours!"

Now Vandi started crying..... "Vasu, don't you know I'm tired too? Tired of all this........ My hand is paining like hell. But I can't stop myself." More tears followed.
"Vandi sweetie, I'm coming over to your place. You wait there. I'll help you remove the chamki and then you can wear that dress. And then we'll go out for dinner. Ok, you just sit and relax and wait for me. Don't cry...."

She heard him hang up, but she kept crying into the phone. She was tired to her bones, tired of her obsessive, doubt-everything, compulsive routine. Another 30 minutes, and the doorbell brought her back to her senses. She went to open the door. Vasudeo rushed to gather her in his arms, but before he could even attempt doing that, Vandana exclaimed - "Don't! Don't touch me! You must be covered with germs! Wash your hands first!!!"

And she ran to her room. Her hand knocked against the things on her dressing table. The bottle of chamki opened and fell, and she lost herself in a shower of fine glittering chamki! Vasu looked on helplessly at his golden Vandi......... Was she his?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

SOMETHING ABOUT MY STAPLER, PEN, OCD, AND C

This is a conversation that took place in our MT lab today morning:-
Kathak: Danny, lend me your stapler for a minute!
Dan: Yeah... Hey!!!!!!! Where's my stapler???!! It was here two mins ago!!! Oh no! It's lost again!
Kathak: Ok! Does anyone else have a stapler?
Dan: Why do I lose my stapler every now and then? [General lamenting follows...]

After 5 mins:-
Dan: Ruc, is that my pen you're writing with?
Ruc: Yes, I just need to tick the names of the girls I'm distributing the Tshirts to.
Dan: No!
Ruc: No?
Dan: No! Give me my pen! You can't have it!
Ruc: Why??!!!! You are actually not letting me use your pen!
Dan: No! I mean yes... I just lost my stapler - and I don't want to lose my pen.... [Looks at Ruc with pleading eyes.....]
Ruc: Ok.. I understand....... Here, take back your pen. [And atually hands it back to Dan and nods her head - that nodding is full of meaning - full of sympathy for a fellow OCDite.]

After an hour:-
Dan: Hey Kathak, Ruc! I've found my stapler - it's right here in my pencil box! [Squeals of delight][clap clap in the background.]

While going home:-
Dan: Hey Ruc..... R U C? Are you C? Are you C++? Are you C#?
Ruc and Don: Dan..... go home plz...
Dan: Ruc! R U C? Are you the sea? Are you the lake? Are you the river? Are you.....
Ruc: I'm the ocean!
Don: Ha ha ha!!!!!
Dan: Ocean, bye........

Monday, March 07, 2005

GAURISMS

Here are my friend Gauri's favourite utterings (in marathi):

Ved! he ved ahe!

Ek number!

Avraa!

Bhagwat!

This post is for my classmates, I'm sure no one else can appreciate this.